Ring, ring, bitch. It’s that time again where I disclose everything I’m watching, reading, and rooting for this week even though I am slightly hungover and wishing it was still socially acceptable for a woman’s career to be lying on a fainting couch and sighing wistfully.
So, what’s on the docket for this week? Well, circle round, kids, ‘cause this week what’s hot is the Cult of Katz, the Miami Curse, and Meghan Trainor’s harrowing ordeal!
What I’m watching…
Jury Duty. When Our Lord and Savior Evan Ross Katz tells you to watch something, you better damn well watch it. I started worshiping at the Cult of Katz after I found out he was a “Sarah Michelle Gellar historian” and wrote a book of essays on the cultural importance of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the limit does not exist). I stayed a loyal follower for his memes. His latest obsession (and mine too) is Jury Duty, an Office-esq wholesome comedy. The show is structured like a documentary chronicling the process of jury duty. Except the court case isn’t real. And neither is the judge or the jury. Except for one jury member who isn’t aware that anything is fake. I think maybe the trailer speaks for itself:
You guys, I cannot emphasize enough what a perfect show this is. James Marsden as Asshole James Marsden is the gift that keeps giving. The following exchange of words “have you ever served on a jury before?” “does Cannes count?” should be enshrined somewhere in the MoMA.
My one qualm with the show is that now I will walk around the rest of my life worried that I’m the Ronald Gladden of any given situation. I will never be able to have a normal conversation with my barista or my boss or my students or that one neighbor whose dog always wants to take a shit right in front of my car without first looking them dead in the eye and whispering “is this part of the show?” But you know what they say, good cinema is supposed to change you. Honey, I’m changed!
What I’m reading…
The Miami Curse. I recently read a Bustle article that investigated TikTok’s latest obsession with something called the Miami Curse. It’s the idea that if you travel to Miami with your best friends the trip will end in at least one generations-long feud that will haunt the bloodlines for years to come. I paraphrase. Y’all, I’m obsessed with the idea of this curse. I’ve quietly held the belief that Florida sits on some sort of Hellmouth. The fact that TikTok believes a trickster demon is running around Miami targeting girls wearing matching butterfly jewelry only confirms my suspicions.
By the way this is the trickster demon:
The article touches on the three main causes for said curse: misaligned expectations, money, and “too many drinks.” I think they’re missing a very important category, which is having all your belongings stolen directly out of your purse by some malicious street urchin, sobbing so hard about said stolen items that a club promoter hustles you out of the VIP section because you’re “killing the vibe,” and deciding to blame this series of unfortunate events on—you guessed it—the girl in your group wearing the butterfly body jewelry. Speaking from personal experience, it’s a category that hasn’t been properly mined yet and needs its own investigative team. Just saying!
What I’m rooting for…
Meghan Trainor. I’m constantly amazed by women and all that they endure. Pamela Anderson rising from the ashes of Hollywood’s toxic flames? Amazing. Rhianna serving everything during the Super Bowl halftime show MID-AIR AND PREGNANT? A deity walks among us. Gwyneth Paltrow wishing well the man who skiied into her effing back? A saint! And now this: Meghan Trainor bravely enduring her husband (and former Spy Kid) Daryl Sabara’s “big boy” dick.
Reading the transcript of her recent interview with the Workin’ On It podcast is, in a word, harrowing. Quotes like “my p*ssy is broken,” “is it all in?” and “Daryl I have to work today and I can’t walk” have chilled me to my core. Meghan Trainor is being bludgeoned on a nightly basis by the medieval device coming out of her husband’s pants and we’ve all just been going on about our lives! Living in complete ignorance! The woman has to ice her p*ssy!!! So, yeah, I’m rooting for Meghan. I’m rooting for her, I’m worried for her, I’m begging her to never discuss her sex life publicly again. I hope she finds her peace.
And that’s what’s hot this week! Next week I’ve got some big things planned SO CHECK YOUR INBOXES, HOES. More coming soon!
xo,
Ry