What’s this? Two newsletters in one week? Yes, she is erratic and excited. Don’t get used to it. I’m mostly writing this because I have some URGENT matters to discuss. Y’all, there were just a lot of feelings this week.
What urgent matters could I possibly be discussing? Well, this week I’m talking about Dylan Sprouse (!!!) as a sex symbol, giving my tbr pile whiplash, and the manic, pixie dream couple of my nightmares!
What I’m watching…
The Beautiful Disaster Trailer. I will never not ride for the rebranding of The Suite Life twins into bad boy heartthrobs we definitely didn’t ask for. The latest in this demented campaign is Dylan Sprouse’s role in Beautiful Disaster, the film adaptation of some Harry Styles fanfiction that blew up in the self-pub world in the 2010s. If you have not watched this trailer yet, do so IMMEDIATLY. I mean it. Stop what you’re doing right now and feast your eyes on this masterpiece:
I simply refuse to believe this role is anything other than satire. Dylan is playing with perception and reality and melting my brain while doing it. I mean, my god, his character’s name is Travis “Mad Dog” (!!!) Maddox, a college MMA fighter/sex god/comedian. That is not a fully fleshed out character; that’s a horny mad lib from a Bachelorette party. At one point in the trailer, Dylan’s love interest says, rather dubiously, “that guy goes to college?” and then the screen flashes to Dylan bedecked in enough temporary tattoos to put a Lisa Frank sample sale to shame. Satire, I say!!
Side note… anyone looking to go see this in theaters this weekend??
What I’m reading…
All! The! Things! Not only have I been fastidiously at work on this newsletter but I’ve been reading, like, a lot. Stop it! No need for applause! I couldn’t pick just one reading rec to share because that would defeat the purpose of this humble brag. So, instead I’ve broken up the readings by length because I know that’s how the majority of you assholes pick your next read. Shame.
Short read: I read this really smart, beautifully written essay by Sarah Hepola about sobriety and sex. It had me doing some introspective work that I usually reserve for after I read my co-star app and/or drink 4-6 glasses of wine and no longer have control over the inner voices at work inside my mind. I wasn’t paying attention to Hepola before but I definitely want to read more from her now!
Long read: the Captive Prince trilogy by C.S. Pacat. This week I re-read all three books in this series over the course of 72 hours. Picture Game of Thrones level epic fantasy but, like, really, really gay. This isn’t going to be for everyone but I absolutely love this trilogy. Every time I read it I’m blown away by how talented Pacat is as a writer. Also! The love story at its center is quite lovely. 10/10 would recommend.
Current read: Happy Place by Emily Henry. Shout out to Danielle for giving me an early copy. For 24 blissful hours I felt my Instagram story was as elite and elusive as Coachella tickets—and I owe it all to you and your early copy.
I’m a big Emily Henry fan and really hope this one is as good as Book Lovers which was far and away her best book (I will fight you in the comments about this). Vulture wrote a great piece about how Henry cracked the modern romance and, while I wish sometimes her stuff was spicier, I couldn’t agree more. I’ll let you know my final verdict when I finish reading it!
What I’m rooting for…
Kylie Jenner & Timothee Chalamet. Something that altered my brain chemistry this week was the idea that Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet might be secretly dating. To me these two exist in opposite universes with deadly consequences should those universes ever overlap.
Kylie is something an Instagram algorithm conjured up to alert humanity about the end of days (not that we listened) and Timothee Chalamet is the haiku I wrote in my seventh grade diary given human form. These two have no business breathing the same air let alone swapping bodily fluids. It breaks the space time continuum to even utter such gossip. Which I did. Several times. Once even to my roommate who responded to my text “have you heard about kylie and timmy c?” with “who is timmy c?” And that’s how I know the public school system is broken along with the space time continuum!
And that’s what’s hot this week! Please everybody immediately watch the Beautiful Disaster trailer as it’s an important historic moment that you won’t want to miss.
More coming soon!
xo,
Ry